Last week, I talked to my sister Kaitlin. She called me on the phone and was telling me about how her best friend, Chelsea, was going back to school in Provo, Utah and needed a roommate. She was getting her own place near the school she goes to. Kaitlin was telling me she was considering moving to Utah with Chelsea. She was very skeptical about it at first because it's...well...Utah. I didn't quite know what to say either because of the location but I understood exactly where she was coming from. For the first time in my life, I felt like I could really relate to my sister as an adult. I know how it feels to want to "get out". She's 20 years old and still at my parents house. She's been going to school for the past 2 years since she's been out of high school, not knowing exactly what she wants to do with her life. She was in a horrible relationship with a immature and emotionally unstable boyfriend which is now over, thankfully. She took a semester off in the spring to work and save up some money to move out. I could really relate to her situation because I felt exactly the same 2 years ago.
I was living in San Francisco, in a relationship with a girl who I was madly in love with and had an awesome paying job. I thought I had my life all figured out. Prior to this, I dropped out of school and moved to the SF. When I was laid off from my job and my relationship with my girlfriend ended, I packed my bags and headed out east to Baltimore on a whim. I knew one person there and that was good enough for me. Baltimore gave me some time to really mature as an adult and sort of figure out who I really was. Now I'm living in New York and am finally going to get my life together. I am going to go back to school next semester (if I can figure out financial stuff) and have a few little projects I'm working on. I am putting together a zine with some California friends living in NYC as well. I am also working on booking a show at this venue in the Lower East Side.
I just wish I could help my sister. The desperation in her voice was so familiar. The want, the need to get out. To get out of what you are so accustomed to and not care what the consequences are. Leaving as soon as you realize you have no ties to where you have lived your entire life. You have nothing holding you back. Unfortunately, my mom convinced my sister to stay in California. My sister, of course, caved in. I guess she doesn't have the dedication I had or maybe I just don't give a fuck. Goodnight.
- Google Nick